Responding To Your Child

Responding to your child (Information from Stop It Now)

Finding out that your child has been sexually abused can be overwhelming. Remember that they will need all the support and reassurance you can give them. Show them that you:

· believe what they have told you

· know it is not their fault

· are glad that they told you about it

· care about what has happened

· will protect them from further abuse

· will give them your support and take care of their needs.

 

Your feelings

Most parents are profoundly shocked, angered, and burdened with guilt when they discover that their child has been sexually abused, especially if the abuser is a partner, family member, or friend. A parent may even know that their child is being sexually assaulted, but not know what do about it. Either way, just as the child is not to blame, neither is the parent. The abuser is the only person responsible for the abuse.

How your child may react

Sometimes children cannot openly express their feelings, and they react in a number of ways. It is sometimes difficult to determine because many of the behaviors are typical for children at different stages of development. What is important to note is whether there has been a sudden unexplained change in behavior like tantrums,  fear of the dark, wetting the bed, or not wanting to go to school.

Anger

Children and young people may experience a lot of anger, and may take it out on parents or caregivers, perhaps because they find it difficult to direct anger at the offender. It's easier and safer to direct it at people they think are not going to hurt them or walk away from them. In counseling, the young person can learn that feelings of anger are normal, and that there are constructive ways of expressing anger.

Depression

Older children and adolescents may also experience depression and thoughts of suicide. They may harm themselves, engage in risk-taking behavior or substance abuse, or isolate themselves from their family and friends.

 

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